Wisdom Wednesday is a newsletter in which I am sharing my spiritual experience and expertise relevant to this Nature Year – the Year of Complete Surrender (September 23, 2019 – September 22, 2020).
Through this newsletter, I offer you support on your journey of Compete Surrender. This newsletter is also a companion to the Sacred Feminine Program for Accelerated Spiritual Growth®.
I am currently offering one-on-one private sessions on Wednesdays.
Click HERE to learn more and reserve a session.
I have been birthing the Aquarian Triangle for Metaphysical Authority™ for more than a week. This Triangle is a profound esoteric activation that supports self-mastery and Ascension more than anything else I have ever done.
As you may recall, for the past month I have been healing a trauma from age 15 that pertains to my mother. After my father’s rape of me at that same age, I recognized that my mother had been aware of my father’s sexual abuse of me over the years and had taken no action to protect me. This revelation was as traumatic for me as my father’s abuse and resulted in the shattering of my already fragile sense of self.
The devastating feelings associated with this trauma led to a deep-seated and hidden fear of the truth revealed in the days following my experience of the new Aquarian Triangle™. Because of this fear, I denied the hard truths about people and relationships throughout my life, creating a recurring dynamic of betrayal. If I had acknowledged the truth at the moment, I would have not formed relationships with certain people or ended them much earlier than I did, preventing all kinds of heartbreak.
My guides are directing me to give voice to my 15-year-old heart now:
I thought my mother loved me until I learned of her complicity in my father’s abuse of me. She didn’t love me and sacrificed me for her marriage. This is the truth that shattered my heart and destroyed my spirit. This truth was incomprehensible to me. I didn’t want to face it because it hurt too much. I wished that I didn’t know what I knew. The only way I could live was to deny the truth.
Even with denial, I felt the pain of my mother’s betrayal and it created a rift between us. Sometimes, I would get so angry at her for no apparent reason. I secretly couldn’t wait to leave home, to get away from her. It made me so sad to stop loving her.
She pretended to love me, and after this realization, I pretended to love her too. As time passed, I forgot we were pretending. I forgot ‘real’ love and even became mistrustful of it. I kept myself from it so as not to have to face the truth of my pretense. All my friends were pretenders, and I lived outside of the circle of love. I resented the people who were loving. I was jealous of them too. They had something I desperately wanted and couldn’t have because of my fear of facing the truth about my mother. Fear of the truth led me to a loveless life and that became as painful as my mother’s betrayal.
Now that I have faced the truth of my mother’s betrayal, I am free to love. I no longer have to pretend or associate with pretenders. I feel love in my heart, and I feel when there is love in another person’s heart. It is warm and makes me happy. I am a little shy in the presence of love because I have hidden from it for so long. Yet, I no longer retreat like I used to. I lean in, usually slowly. Love is my friend, and my friends are loving. I am loving too. Love fills you up inside. I am filling up with love. Soon love will pour out from me. The pretenders will retreat from me then, and the lovers will come towards me. Everything is shifting; people coming and going. I say goodbye and I say hello every day.
For the first time since I learned the truth of my mother, I feel optimistic. Spring is in my heart, and my garden of love is blooming. My dream is coming true, and the nightmare of my parents is finally over. I have moved out of their house at long last. I have a new home in my heart, and I am decorating it with flowers. Goodbye, mother. Goodbye, father.
With this, I am through the ring-pass-not,
marking a major incarnational shift point!
On February 19, the Ascended Masters informed me I was preparing to make this passage. On February 21, I had two dreams. Here is my journal entry:
"In the first dream, I am standing on a ledge and have to jump over a five-foot-long abyss to the ground. People are on the other side waiting to catch me. This dream indicates my psyche is preparing for the passage through the ring-pass-not. It demonstrates that I feel an element of risk even though I have support. In the second dream, I am sobbing, grieving the loss of life as I have known it. I am in a much bigger incarnational shift point that I can understand at this moment." This passage has been so damn hard. I am relieved and grateful to be on the other side. Even though I don’t fully understand the implications of this passage, I am certain my life will become a reflection of my healed heart. Thank you to my inner self, particularly to my 15-year-old girl. I love you.
The first half of my year-long Tantra journey is now complete. I have no idea what is in store for me during the next six months. The Year of Complete Surrender is full of surprises.
Experience the Aquarian Triangle for Metaphysical Authority™
Run the energies of the Triangle (described in the video) throughout the week.
Stay tuned to the revelation of the hidden fear the Triangle activates for healing.
Pay attention to your experience at all levels of your being and journal about what is happening.
Be gentle with yourself as you enter a whole new phase of your spiritual growth made available to you with The Aquarian Triangle for Metaphysical Authority™.
All Love All Ways,