Wisdom Wednesday is a newsletter in which I am sharing my spiritual experience and expertise relevant to this Nature Year – the Year of Complete Surrender (September 23, 2019 – September 22, 2020).
Through this newsletter, I offer you support on your journey of Compete Surrender. This newsletter is also a companion to the Sacred Feminine Program for Accelerated Spiritual Growth®.
I am currently offering one-on-one private sessions on Wednesdays.
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On February 22, I began a new piece of healing relating to an experience that occurred when I was 10-years old. I was attacked at gun point and dragged into an alcove where the assailant proceeded to attempt to rape me. He was stopped after about two minutes by my younger brother. The next day, I identified him in a book of mug shots. The detective told my mother in front of me, “You daughter is very lucky. This man is a serial rapist. In fact, he raped a nurse on the way home from work the other night.” After our police visit, I went back to school. We never spoke of it again. It appeared that I was fine. About 20 years ago, I did some healing on this event. I worked with a very talented homeopathic physician. It took him four hours of inquiry to evoke the memory, at which point he gave me a homeopathic remedy that catalyzed a deep release. Over the years, I have done at least two other major processes for healing this trauma. I looked back in my journal to find out when I begin this most recent round of healing and couldn’t believe it’s been such a short time – only a matter of days. To me, it has felt like an eternity. I have done an hour or more of Tantra every day, carrying on without any sensation, trusting that I would break through to the next level of deeply repressed feelings and hoping that this time I would finally complete my long engagement with this attacker. Today, I had the breakthrough I have worked towards, and in addition to the feelings of fear and helplessness I am releasing, I am using one of the processes I created years ago to clear the energetic entanglements from this and past lives with this man. I believe there are three past lives and I will tackle each one until I am free. I am in a raw state as I write this today, determined to change my life once and for all.
Tantra will bring us to and through many layers of healing.
We all love orgasms, and yet, there will be times, perhaps many, when our frozen hearts are reflected in a lack of physical sensation in our genitals. We have to cultivate the patience and perseverance to continue self-pleasuring even when it seems that nothing is happening. I have chosen to surrender to my daily experience, letting go of all expectations or desires for an orgasm as well as for any outward signs of healing. I assure you that if you continue, the healing will happen. You will feel more deeply than ever, and you will release those feelings, reclaiming your voice as you vocalize your pain. Our wounds are deep and pervasive and, yet, we are now being trained and supported to heal them at the level required for us to become truly empowered.
Ceremony for Deepening Commitment to Your Self
This week, become aware of every time you or someone else mistreats you (abuse, diminishment, dishonor, disrespect, etc.).Remember patriarchy is the source of the diminishment of the Sacred Feminine and we have all internalized the messages of the wounded masculine model. Keep a running tab of all the subtle and not so subtle ways (actions, behaviors, thoughts, words, etc.) you allow patriarchy to rule how you and others treat you.
When you are ready, write a promise to yourself that represents the antidote to your allowance of mistreatment of yourself. Then create a Ceremony of Commitment in which you read your promise to yourself with complete sincerity. When you are complete, do some journaling about the changes you intend to make. Seal your commitment with Tantra. Note: When you break your promise, be compassionate towards yourself while calling yourself to meet your self-defined standards.
Your Wednesday Poem
All Love All Ways,